A glass of red wine goes with most foods, right? Not according to Yvonne Lorkin.

"When it comes to pairing food and red wine, I've experienced some clangers in my time, so I feel it's my duty to spell a couple out so you don't make the same mistakes," she says. 

First: do not mix a honking great red wine to serve with your three-chillies-on-the-menu curry. The tannins in the wine, in combination with those powerful spices, will rip your taste buds off their stalks; you won't be able to taste anything for days.

Love your vinegary dressings or pickled vegetables? "Move away from the Merlot! Trust me..." says Yvonne.

Also, if you want to win friends and influence people, don't serve onion rings, onion bhajis or cheese and onion sandwiches (notice a trend here? Step away from the onion!) before opening a bottle of prized Pinot Noir. The inside of your mouth will taste like rubber for hours.